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What am I thinking of?

by - August 27, 2014

Happy thoughts. Yes. I am thinking of happy thoughts.

Last week was one of the worst week that I could possibly have. Why? Because last week was our exam week. The amount of stress that I have in my body is just too much or me to handle. I have a lot of "monsters" in my head right now and I need to take a breather.

The only thought that I have in my mind right now is the idea that I will not pass my exams, the whole idea of failing again makes me cringe and cry "internally", as if I am torturing my self day by day. So, now, I am going to try something new. I am trying to think happy thoughts.

These past few days, I've been grumpy and moody, I don't even know what type of emotion I was actually feeling. I can't even figure out what type of mood do I have in a day. Weird, right? I've been like this since a month ago, or maybe 2-3 months ago. I was not like this. I've always been the jolly and bubbly one. Now, I've been so quiet and distant to everyone. I don't even know why. I am not depressed. But my mood has been very unstable lately. The only remedy that I could think of is thinking happy thoughts. I tried smiling amidst my heavy workload. I tried eating my favorite food. I tried hanging out with people who attracts positivity. And, I tried looking for a good company to join me every day. To date, I am partially successful. But then, I still feel incomplete. I think I need to understand myself more.

What do you think is still missing in me? How about you? Have felt incomplete even once in your life? When?

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